Teachers

I really know not who exactly taught me english...

I recall I was little ....preschool age...

Whispers came to me.....or and voices....

Where they angel....e.ts or both...

It all felt soo naturally like playing...

My mom used to peek listen....she they proclaimed 

How beautyful you sound as you speak ur babylanguange....

Since for her....the tongue was unfamiliar 

She only knew Spanish and a few Norwegian words....

It was not until some Norwegian visitors came to our home and I spoke for them in english 

They exclaimed....this little girl speaks english 

And this how it came to be to my consciousness that I spoke pretty good english already before first grade....

Oh great queen snakes of darkerness

I wish soo to apologize for my great treason
I give up all ur codes...lures and tactics...in which by hand are given out freely by even men seduction teachers thems3lfs nowasays....

But...still it most have been the manner I did things....
I regret it somehow
Cause cursed was my life and my love life if anything
Thou I see you women are strong and even the love I dreamed for mys4lf and gave out the codes to slaughtered me with cold blood to go and find comfort in the arms of one of yours instead

You taught me thou how dark this realm of life truly is...

And today I learned a thing or two...

I will certainly not betray ever again....

Thou I understand soo much more then I did at the times of my betrayal

Little I was in mind and in heart
I Kneel down to you all ...
In forgiveness....the race of females planet earth 20/03/2018

The day I turned and turned to awaken....

the destruction

Inside me he whispers.....
back and forth...
rejection and love

but i recall soo his words of rejection
soo i try and move on
but as i do
the king comes back in fury

tells me i will be destroyed...
my body in waters it muries....
buried to the tests of my bad
karma to sore in

What shall i do to please the king
I dont want you he will scream....
I want you gone....
I want someone my own status, race and economy

I try again and walk away....
But again my body in waters it muries...
while my mothers in tears she carries....
cause she know nothings.....

But my bad deeds she lays in.....
cause i did not know what the King wanted....

And i still do not know.....
But i pay for his fury.....
and carry will i his punches of duty.....

You will end up alone he screams...
I shutter cause lonelyness was always my
biggest fear.....in it i talk with world that nobody
then me hears....my illness....

I didnt want to end up alone
i have soo much love to give....
and inside me it will all rot.....

but...maybe this is his wishes for me.....
i guess....i guess....
watered in my body.....destructed...inside and outside...

just give mercy to those i love.....high King your majesty....